Obviously, her redemption is kind of the the main arc of this season, but for you just what? What did you need your mom to prove in order to start letting her back into your lives? Um? I think this has to prove a lot of things. She has to prove to me that she truly is sober. She has to prove to me that she’s, not the person that even she was before addiction. You know like the one who even a lot about the little things um for me too. You know she’s gon na have to let it take time. You know for so long. We were on her time. We were on gino’s, you know addiction, clock and things like that, and now i want you guys to be on my time like i feel like it should be at my own pace. Do you think that is something she kind of has started to come around to? Obviously the first episode she’s very much. I need it to happen now. We need to be reunited and it’s like no, you need to wait a beat right. How is that process going? I guess um, i think, it’s very hard for me because, like i said, we do need our space. We do know our time because her addiction didn’t happen overnight. Her falling into the drug have been didn’t happen overnight or her ruining the family didn’t happen overnight. These things take time and that’s just kind of what i need her to see like it’s, very frustrating.
For me, when you know she’s pushy, pushy, pushy and it’s like we were a pushy pushy pushy when we wanted you to go to the first couple of rehabs and you didn’t go yeah so now it’s on the other foot, and i mean for you also you’ve, Been you know, you are alana’s caregiver now you’re her guardian, um, she’s 15, but still under your care. Just has it been awkward at all for you to try and control her or oversee her interactions with your mom just so she doesn’t get hurt again too yeah. It is very hard for me, because i’m trying to protect alana and i’m trying to you, know i’ve seen mama at her lowest point last season. When i sat down with her, you know and kind of given her the ultimatum of like whether you’re going to be upon his family or not, you know i didn’t want to wanted to see that side of her. I even now. If she, if she isn’t sober, i don’t want to risk that for alana, and i do catch myself being torn in between because i’m also trying to play the parenting role of that and i’m also trying to be the supportive sister. Who also knows that we all just want our mom back yeah, and i mean you still have to be that mom figure, while right alana is still kind of pushing to reunite with her mom it’s right it’s got to be very, very complicated, oh yeah, but you Know do you think your mom, you know fully understands what effect her drug abuse has had on your life, particularly you know in terms of how you’ve had to step up for alana and the strains even now we’re, seeing that it is put on your marriage a Bit as well right um, i don’t think that she still fully understands like the problems she left behind for me per se because having to take care of alana like i feel like she’s appreciative of it, but the way that she says she’s appreciative of it, doesn’t Really make me feel like i’ve completed, you know like i’ve done what i needed to do or that she really is appreciative of me.
You know just like the way she says, it’s, like oh yeah, i’m glad you stepped up and took care of alana. I wanted to be a little bit more sincere than that. You know that’s kind of how i feel about that situation and it’s it’s, very tough, because somebody who is supposed to be there and supposed to be supportive, it just doesn’t seem that way like i’ve done. All these things and i’ve matured as a woman and now i’ve got to take the consequences, and i wasn’t even the addict yeah because, like you said she has said even when i spoke to her, that she’s appreciative, but i think it’s more, you want to know, Want her to know all these little things and what it all adds up to what it, what it does mean for you right, because it’s not like okay, i just take care of alana like i have to go through my marriage problems that cause problems there. You know it probably basically caused a whole uproar in everybody’s lives and it’s, just like she sees it, but she doesn’t see it yeah, and you know she recently did this interview where she said she and gino spent almost a million dollars on drugs in a year. Just what goes through your mind when you hear that statistic that number that amount of money honestly people were asking me earlier too, they were just like you know. Did you know how bad it had gotten and when i hear that price – and i you know – i hear it from the media outlets where she tells them or you know she tells her story.
It is very hard to hear that because no, i didn’t know how bad things had really got, and after i moved alana out um, i really tried to work on ourselves as a family. You know really tried to help mama and then we kind of stepped back for a little while, so i didn’t see her, i didn’t put the kids around her um the when we meet this time on the show it had been a year since we had physically Seen her so that that’s hard to hear, i mean it really is knowing that not trying to be mean and not trying to sound like money hungry, but to know that me and josh were struggling, trying to do everything we could to keep a roof over alana And ella’s head yeah it’s just like, but you were out here: blowing a million dollars. Couldn’T help me. How was it for you watching last season back, you know. Obviously you weren’t you weren’t there when all this stuff was going down with her and geno, but to see the actual footage of it of them kind of at their lowest points. What was that, like, honestly, it’s hard like, even when i saw her last season and give her that ultimatum, like as a family yeah? It was hard to see her like that. I mean i’m, an adult i’m mature, but that is a rough site to see like and especially with it being your mom.
It does not make it any easier. You know and honestly i didn’t want her to be in that place. I wanted her to get clean before then. I didn’t want we’d come to the realization when it got to that point that we were just going to see her in a body bag. I mean honestly that’s how bad it had gotten like you’ve seen her and she wasn’t even the same like we’d, get on media outlets like get on facebook and it’d, be shared up and down. My timeline of my mom just standing there with like her face covering on and stuff you know, just not barely even showing any type of skin or something and it’s like to know that that was the type of person that she was like it’s crazy because, like Sometimes i blame myself, but i also try not to you know, because it’s not my fault, that she chose drugs. It’S, not my fault, that you know she is an addict, but it sucks because then it always back. You know it always weighs back on me. Yeah! No because it you know, goes down the hill right, you have to feel the effects of it and for you, because when i spoke, i spoke with june. You know right before the season started and she kind of addressed gino’s critics, of which you are one um, but you know she said she. She was the one who got him into using again and, and she hoped that you guys would see that he’s changed a lot just i guess what’s your response to that.
Do you think there is a possibility that somewhere down the line things between you guys could maybe um? I feel like he’s always going to be a part of mama’s life and we’re just going to have to face that you know until she is finally able to get rid like she got rid of the addiction part as far as the drugs. But i do feel like gino is also an addiction of hers and i’ve always felt like that, like even before they were using, and things like that, because my mama just turned into a completely different person. She just went from the highest woman on the pedestal to like just dirt. You know like that’s what it kind of felt like the way he was treating her and things like that. But you know i’ll fix things or act cool because that is who my mama chooses to be with and like. I don’t want to cause any problems between me and her, but in the same respect like he’s, just a temporary person and i’m more focused on wanting to fix things with her than him yeah, which is understandable right and i mean we know that the two of Them there there’s still possible jail time ahead for them. Just you know, do you believe at this point that you’re probably gon na have custody of alana until she is 18 until she is an adult just what do you think or what i guess thought process? Do you have concerning i mean, even if mama is stay sober for the next five ten years.
I honestly think that alana will stay with me only because she has it here. You know, but it is hard because that is also her mother and i don’t ever want to make her cheese, because her mama have been very close. So if alana decides, i mean now she’s 15., if she was decided that hey she wanted to go back to her mama’s like there obviously had to be some talking, but i i feel pretty secure that i want to stay with us for sure yeah and you Know june obviously, isn’t the only one trying to kind of get back into alana’s life i’ve seen this next week’s episode. Sugar bears, you know following a health scare, is trying to reconnect as well. Just is that something you think is possible, or at this point, is it too little too late um. I think it’s um, like from what i can see from alana like i have to deal with it at the end of the day you know like when she goes and they do a scene together like when she comes back home to me. I have to deal with her. I have to deal with the person that always asks me questions of like why didn’t my daddy want something to do with me like years ago. Why? Now and it’s like just because you had a health scare, doesn’t mean that alana’s supposed to just run back to you with open arms if he couldn’t be there at her lowest times yeah, and i i guess what would be the ideal outcome for you.
You know regarding alana and her relationship with all all of her parents. I guess i mean i truly do hope that mama stays sober and everything for not only alana but ella too, because ella loves gigi. You know and she’s growing up, and i don’t want ella to see that side of things that me and alana and jessica grew up having to see with my mama. I don’t want her to see that side of her and for alana, like i think the sugar bear thing is a lost cause. I think that maybe she should just kind of leave it alone, but obviously we want to work on the relationship with our mama like she’s, the one i mean yes, she did leave us in a dark time, but we’ve always kind of like worked through it. It may take some time but everything’s, not perfect, yeah and, like i said, i’ve seen this week’s episode and i know in the preview for the following week. We we see you alana and your mom finally sit down together for what looks like a very, very emotional conversation. Just oh yeah, i guess what was the most challenging aspect of that of that sit down. I just like seeing alana crying and saying that she thought that her mom might have died like it has to be a lot i mean seeing. I want to cry in general over the mama situation is very hard. You know because i don’t want her to feel that pain.
I don’t want her to have to beg for her mom or her dad’s attention yeah so, but i think it’s good. That mama will be able to hear what we have to say, and you know she has no choice. She can’t run this time. She has to sit down and she has to listen. Lastly, i did want to ask if there is anything else that you you know that is coming up on the show that you are looking forward to viewers. Seeing i mean i think, i’m, looking forward to the viewers seeing a little bit of everything, definitely the consequences. Um that mama will face, because people have to understand that with addiction, the problems and the consequences don’t just come during the addiction they come after the addiction and the recovery process as well and like you guys, will be able to see that a lot with my Mom understanding the recovery process yeah. Well, i thank you all for putting this process out there for everyone to see. I think it’s important for people to watch and yeah just good luck with everything going forward. Thank you.